Bella's Gangsta Day
by nave-kat-dip-am-ali-firas
Summary: Bella and Edward come accross a very unusual day when they go to their meadow. They meet Jacob their and some very interesting people... sorry suck at reviws much better story and also our first !-- We dont own twilight or any of teh characters
1. The new beginning

**Bella Gangsta Day **

It was like any other day. I was chilling with my gangsta bf and now husband, Edward. He had been acting weird lately ever since we got married. We didn't go on the honey moon because of Charlie's current health condition and now Edward seems mad. I talked to Edward and we are now gonna got talk it through in our meadow

"So Edward, what did you want to talk about" I said nervously looking at his reaction

"Bella, I am sorry I ever got married to you, the truth is that I am gay…with Mike" said Edward looking very embarrassed

I couldn't believe what I was hearing it had to be a lie.

"Your gay, you sure, I know you attractive and stuff but gay, with Mike? You sure?"

"Yes I am Bella, and the truth is after we got married, Mike turned me into a robot and now we love each other—"

Just as we were talking somebody came out of no where. OMG it can't be it was Dora and Diego. They had a gun with them and it looked like they were going to shoot Edward. I didn't do anything and they shot him and then ran away. I didn't love him anymore and as they shot him, his soul came out, reached the rainbow and turned into skittles. As the skittles fell from the sky, a pack of wolves came and starting to eat the skittles. The pack included Jacob, Sam, Leah, and another wolf I didn't recognize. They were all eating skittles; they were eating Edward which some how Dora and Diego had killed.

As soon as all the skittles were gone, the wolves ran away. Okay lets me get this straight what just happened. Edward was gay with mike and also a robot. Dora and Diego just killed him. He rose up into the rainbow, turned into skittles and the wolves just ate him. OMG that was totally gangsta. I cant like wait to like tell everyone! Omg Edward is homo! Lol

Just as I was thinking, another boy walked in. He had big brown hair, pale skin and glasses. He was dressed casually and definitely couldn't compare with Edward's beauty and dazzling ness but I think I liked him better.

"Hey who are you" I asked

"Firas" he replied

"Do you want to go to the movies?" he asked

"Sure I just found out my husband is gay with some dude and also a robot and my husband just got killed by Dora and Diego, turned into skittles and my best friend just ate him. I have nothing else to do, lets go" That sounded gangsta in my head

"Whatever" he said

He was gangsta. We went to the movie, got married, started out own strip club and lived happily ever after.

THE END


	2. My Angels Return

I woke up. Big whoop. At least I'm alive. I shouldn't be after spending 2 months with Firas, my new husband. He's ok, funny…sometimes weird. Truth is, I regret ever marrying him! I'd met this other guy, Jason, who in my opinion, is wayyy hotter than Firas. But of course, neither of them knew that yet.

I dressed in black, I was still mourning for my dead bf. He was a totaal gangstaa! Better than this Firas anyways. Well Dora and Diego came and shot him with some weirdo guns. As a result, my bf turned into Skittles and Jacob and his friends ate him all up. I wonder how vampires taste like?

"Why are you up so early?" a voice asked.

I turned around. Firas was standing in the doorway to my room. Yeah, I demanded to have separate rooms since the day I decided Jason was gonna be "my man". Firas doesn't know why. He's stupid, no offence to him.

"Have you ever learned to knock?" I snapped, irritated. Oh, I forgot to tell you, Firas doesn't have a brain either. I busied myself with making my bed, in order to avoid his ugly face.

"I thought we could go for a picnic today in the park," Firas suggested.

Wow. A picnic. How boring is that? Besides, I'd already made plans with Jason for a day at the local club, _Minty Green_.

"I dunno," I said absently. "Look, why don't you spend the day shopping for stuff for our strip club. We need more strippers. We just lost Ashley and she was real popular with the guys."

"That's cuz she was the one that ever gave them what they wanted," Firas argued. "C'mon it's a Saturday."

I sighed, exasperated. "I have plans. Sorry I gotta go."

I ran out the door, grabbing my purse along the way. I met Jason at the club 10 minutes late. He didn't ask. We went in and ordered drinks. It was a wonderful morning.

When I got home, Firas was cooking at the counter. He had a salad bowl on the stove.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded.

"Cooking salad," Firas replied. "OMG! It just caught on fire!"

"You don't _cook _salad idiot," I explained, trying not to laugh. We quickly put out the fire and I ordered pizza.

"So how about a movie tonight?" Firas asked.

"Why the hell would I wanna watch a movie with you?" I scoffed.

"Cuz we're married?" Firas looked at me with his eyes.

"Not anymore…I wanna divorce!" I exclaimed. I decided it was time to tell him about Jason.

"WHY?" Firas looked pretty god damn mad as well.

"Oh you wanna no why person? Cuz you're ug, inconsiderate, and…well…I can't think of anything else. But I met this new guy, Jason and boy he burns I tell you!" I said. "Whoahhyy."

Firas's face twisted into a sour expression.

"You swallow something sour man?" I asked. "Well ima sorry. But I'm gonna leave man. Good luck with the club and all."

Firas started crying. God he was a sissy! I mean who cries?? I raided the cash jar and took out 5 50's.

"Well I'm off!"

"NO! But I love you," Firas blubbered.

Oh jeez. I couldn't leave him like this. Even a fool would know that.

"Just pretend that I went out for a while, and then you got a call from me and I'm not coming back. Now I'm seriously outie!" that did not sound gangsta in my head but hey...I was excited to meet Jason.

I ran to Jason's house. He had a girl over.

"Hey girlfriend! Meet my bf!" the girl gushed.

"Hey hey hey girl! What d'ya say? He can't be your boy, he's mine!"

"Oh yeah, well bring it!"

While we were indulged in a crazy catfight, Jason was watching us with a satisfied smile on his face.

After two minutes, the girl and I turned on him, realizing mutually that he'd been double dating us. Ketchup and mustard got all over him and he taped him to the wall. Now how gangsta was that! Ownage!

Well I ditched my bf cuz he was a non-gangsta, non-hot jerk, divorced my husband. So where the hell am I gonna go now? I headed for my friend, Jessica's house. Sure I hated her guts but hey, I needed a place to stay.

So it all adds up. My gangsta bf turned into skittles; I "hot" bf cheated on me; I broke my husband's heart, and I'm probably gonna get into a fight with Jessica as well.

Whatever, life's interesting like that!

(1 year later)

My life had been in so many problems with Edward, Jacob, Jason, and Firas….even Jessica. But after all that here I am with Firas at home watching a movie, happily. I realized I was being a jerk and came back to him considering I liked Jason but he was double dating…so not cool. I figured out why I was being such a spoiled brat to Firas, I just missed my regular life with Edward, or my personal angel who was now gay (which I still need to talk to Alice about) and also turned into skittles and my werewolf boyfriend who died because of Dora and Diego (stupid Nickelodeon). I also discovered something….Firas was a wizard.

Well anyway that didn't matter anymore, I was always attracted to people who weren't actually regular people's am still happily with him, here watching a movie.

"Hey, where are you going" I asked as Firas got up and went to the door

"Oh...um...nowhere I just need to go out for work for a few hours to…. Um…. meet someone, I'll be back soon don't worry, cya" and with that Firas went out the door.

What on earth, he had to meet someone for work, and why didn't he tell me who?? There was something seriously wrong, so I decided to do what I could only think of, follow him.

I went out the door, careful to make sure he didn't see me. As so as he left our street in his car. I waited for 2 minutes and then got into my car (which was my only present from Edward left) and followed him, careful to keep my distance, hopefully he doesn't see me or my car.

After following for about five minutes, Firas stopped at Tim Horton's and got out of his car and headed inside. I followed him, but I parked around the back to make sure he wouldn't see me. As I got out, I quickly ran into the Tim Horton's. Once I got in the store, I was shocked by the view, Firas with another girl and ….Edward??


	3. Angel?

Life stinx (don't correct my grammar). My husband gone, bf gone…oh yeaahh who knows what else? A pile of mud sloshed into my face. My head snapped up, as if on cue. A truck had just roared past.

"Hey watch where the hell you're going!" I yelled after it. I examined my clothes. My shirt had fresh mud stains on it and my jeans were ripped. In other words, I looked like some hobo. _Find a place to wash up…and where you can purchase something for less than $2.00. _I thought.

JACKPOT! Up ahead was Starbucks. Sure it was a rip-off sometimes but hey, after spending 4 days out on the street (Jessica kicked me out), any shelter sounded appealing. I hurried inside and my heart literally stopped beating.

There, at the back booth in a corner, sat Firas and…OMG it couldn't be! There was my old boyfriend, Edward Cullen! Aw crap! Talk about a WEIRD life!? Trying not to attract too much attention, I slipped through the crowds to the back booth. I plopped myself down beside Firas. I decided to see if I could snag his wallet so that I could eat and the only way to do that was to be seductive, in other words, a slutty bitch.

"Miss me honey?" I crooned. "Got any money on you? I'm broke." I immediately went for his wallet, which was lying carelessly on the table beside his coffee.

"Uh uh uh. Not so fast now Bella," Firas said disapprovingly. "You still owe me an explanation."

Slutty bitch operation…failed.

I arranged my features into what I hoped were an innocent face.

"Don't get smart Bella," Edward said.

"How the f-ing hell did you get back? Last time I checked, you were in Jacob's tummy as Skittles." I pretended that I was noticing him for the first time.

"Ha! Well Jake couldn't handle me so he barfed me up. Then, since I wasn't _exactly_ dead, I reformed. D'you miss me?"

"Dream on." I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, you can't count on Bella. She left me for some ass Jason. Only to find out that he was cheating on her," Firas recounted.

"How did you find out?"

"That good looking girl, Janessa or what's her face. Do you think you can introduce me? She's hot," Firas gushed.

I smacked his arm, completely outraged. "You're supposed to love me!" I exploded. "And her name is Jessica and she is NOT hot!"

"You expect me to love you after you just left me like a bitch?"

"You're in no position to call me that!" Although that was so not flippin' true.

Firas put on his make-me-just-try face and held it there.

"Okay fine! I'm sorry for leaving you. You were well…I think I got so caught up with Jason that I didn't realize I had a life."

"Ya think?"

"I love you Firas," I whispered, not daring to look up into his eyes.

"You double-dater lying ugly dirty slutty bxtch!" Edward howled.

"Shut the hell up," Firas snapped. "She obviously doesn't love you anymore. C'mon Bella. I've missed you."

Err...never mind. Obviously slutty bitch operation had NOT failed.

Firas hugged me and I hugged him back. It was nice, being back in his arms, knowing that I was once again…safe.

We stood up and I glanced at Edward.

"I'm sorry. I just…I can't…this isn't working Edward," I blurted out at last. It seemed to take a lot of effort just to get those words around my tongue (cuz it tangled up or sum).

Edward grunted, twisted the straw of his coffee, and stood up.

"Good-bye Bella. I think I'll go look at Janessa," Edward mumbled under his breath.

"Jessica," I retorted hotly. "And she's more of a female dog than I am."

Edward grunted again, picked up his coffee cup and walked right out the door.

"Hey! That cup costs 15 dollars!" a busboy yelled after him.

What. The. Hell? It was just a damn plastic coffee cup with STARBUCKS printed on it. Completely ordinary, and yet, it cost 15 dollars. I'm never going to Starbucks again.

"It's a plastic cup freak!" Edward snarled. He turned around and his vamp powers kicked in. His nostrils flared and his eyes turned menacing. "I could pick one up off the street for Free."

The busboy shrank back and so did the rest of the customers. With a flourish and a not-so-accidental wave of his hand (the one that was holding the cup), the coffee tipped over and splashed on the floor.

"Oops," Edward grinned. His face was the innocent angelic face of a boy I'd come to know. His eyes were his regular caramel shade and his lips were eased into a tight line. It could fool anyone into thinking that he really hadn't meant it. Except for me -.-.

"It's okay, it was an accident. I'll clean it up." The busboy was obviously flustered. Whadda loser.

"Let's get outta here." I grabbed Firas's hand and pulled him over the puddle and out of the shop.

Outside, the sun was shining and the clouds were the puffy white ones that children always drew in art class. Perfect.

We drove home and I literally ran inside, eager to lie down in a REAL bed. But there was a girl there, a beautiful girl. She was thumbing through a magazine carelessly.

"Uhm, hello. You're lying on my bed," I said to her.

She glanced up in the bored way all those celebrities do. I felt like smacking her. I hated that celebrity glance so damn much it wasn't even funny…

"Oh hey! I'm Hermione," the girl introduced herself. "Firas's girlfriend."

I whirled around and nearly ran into Firas. "You bastard!" I shrieked. "You replaced me in TWO days? Two goddamn days!!!!!"

"Let's not forget Jason ok?" Firas challenged. "Besides, it isn't all about liking and such. Do you believe in wizards?"

"What kind of a question is that?" I demanded. "There are vamps and werewolves in this world, not surprised if wizards turn up."

Firas ignored my sarcasm and started explaining. "Hermione's brother is Harry. They're both wizards and they went to a wizarding school. A month ago though, Harry turned evil. He started killing humans for fun and no one ever survived. Except for Tom Riddle. Tom was a wizard too and he'd heard about Harry because Harry had killed his parents. Tom was the only one who tried to fight back and he was able to keep Harry at bay."

"And I'm supposed to take pity on the sister of an evil serial wizard killer?" I asked cocking an eyebrow.

"Hermione knows that Harry's scared of vampires and she'd heard about Edward so she came here looking for allies. I took her in for the time being," Firas said as if things like this happened everyday. "And…we…kinda started dating."

"Cheater!" I yelled! "I'm leaving."

"No you can't!" Hermione spoke up.

I turned around and saw her holding a wand and she had it pointing at me. "I don't think you have any magical ability."

I hated her even more. "So? I'll just die and let you die, and everyone else cuz Harry's gonna come." I made my voice go all low and spooky like the way the cheesy storytellers do.

"Harry won't kill me. I'm his sister. What we need is for you to get Edward back. And I don't care how much BS you have to go through or how bitchy you get, but we're taking down Harry."

"You're killing your brother?"

Hermione shrugged. "Get Edward back. He has special powers that no other vamp has had before."

"So you're telling me to make up with my ex, who may I add I've just dumped less than an hour ago, force him to become allies with you so you can take down your serial wizard killer brother," I summed it up for her.

"If you please. Harry's mad that Tom beat him in the duel. He's looking for revenge. And he wants it now. Tom's hiding at my house right now but he won't be safe for long. So will you help us?" she waved the wand at me and it was almost like she knew that I didn't want to die. Call me a female dog but Hermione's more of it.

"Fine," I spat out.

"You can start by chasing down Edward. He's at Jessica's house right now. Take a shower before you go please."

Oh great. Last thing I needed was to fight over Edward (something that I really didn't want to do) with Jessica (who had kicked me out of her house). Get ready for a big drama scene. And if you don't like lots of bitchy attitude and seductive moments, then I guess it's tough luck for you.


	4. Chapter 4

If you'd asked me to define "normal" two days ago, I would've been able to give you a half decent answer. But if you asked me today, my answer would probably be crap. Mostly because my life was crap right now. No, maybe worse.

Let's put it this way: once upon a time, I (Bella Swan) had an amazing life with my vamp BF, Edward _oh-so-damn-hot _Cullen. Then, werewolf Jacob Black & his crew came along and started a fight with Edward for me. So one day, Edward and I went for a walk in the meadow and Dora and Diego came along with guns (don't ask). They shot Edward, little old Eddie turned into Skittles and Jacob and crew ate him up. I was just about to get sad when Firas came along. I fell in love, married him, met another guy Jason, broke up with Firas, went to live with Jason, found out that he'd been dating an asshole behind my back, went to Jessica's house, she kicked me out, found Firas and Edward (again, don't ask) at Starbucks, decided to go back to Firas (I realized that I hated Edward), got called a bitch by Edward, found out that in TWO DAYS Firas had replaced me by a wizard Hermione. Now, it gets confusing. Hermione a wizard and her brother is Harry (aka serial wizard killer who loves to kill humans). Harry managed to kill every single human on his "to kill" list except for a little guy named Tom Riddle. Tom weakened Harry's powers. So now, Harry's mad at Tom and he's seeking revenge. Hermione claims that Edward's powers can defeat Harry. So what's my role in this jumbled up hell of a mess? I have to act like a bitchy slut to Edward back (may I add that Edward is going after Jessica at the moment) so that he can help Hermione kill Harry. Okay, maybe not kill but something like that. 

So all in all, no I cannot define "normal" for you.

"Heeeey Bellaaaa!" Hermione called. "I haveeee somethinnnng forrrr youu!" God I hated her sing-songy voice.

"Heeeyyy Hermionnneee!" I mimicked her call perfectly. "Stop acctiingg like a feemaaale doooog!"

Hermione's smile dropped a little but her face remained the firm cheerfulness that I was still getting used to. "Here." She tossed a bag of clothes at me.

Abercrombie and Fitch. Ughh. I hated that store. The shirts were see-through (aka slutty) and they charged $30 for each. Double ughh. It was such a rip off. I trusted Wal-Mart waaaay more.

"Look, I already agreed to get Edward back even if it means seducing him and losing my sanity due to fighting over him with Jessica. But I AM NOT gonna wear those shirts from Aber-slutty," I snapped. I glared my full max glare at her and she shrank. Just a little.

"Okay. Aeropostale then," Hermione quipped tightly. She held up another bag. I swear that girl is loaded. Then, a wicked grin spread over her face. Okay fine, her PRETTY face. "Unless you want to settle for those 'ugly' black robes us wizards wear." She waved a hand around her.

Crap. She had me there. I may not be Megan Fox but I definitely wasn't Hermione either. No way was I getting into one of Hermione's floor-length silky black robes. Although the way the robes billowed out was neat.

"Have it your way," I said absently. At least, Aeropostale didn't have those paper-thin shirts. Or maybe they did. Huh, I'll have to check that out someday.

"Uhm, Bella. May I remind you that your mission starts right now. So if you'd so kindly get into a cute outfit, the sooner you'll make Edward love you before he really falls hard for Janessa."

Ughh, what was it with people calling "Jessica" "Janessa"? I mean, did I call "Hermione" "Hermit Frog"? Or Edward "Pain-in-the-ass Eddie"? Didn't think so.

I grabbed the crinkly shopping bag and decided to put on the first thing my hand touched. Aw hell, it just happened to be a body-hugging black dress that stopped halfway above the knee. Hermione gave me a pair of black high heels to go with the dress as well as a diamond necklace and earrings. I drew the line at make-up. Gloss? Okay. Blush? Go ahead. Eye shadow? Eye glitter? Lipstick? Try and you'll die. 

"Good luck!" Hermione called gaily while I tottered off.

Oh jeezus. Well, she didn't exactly have to chase after an ex-boyfriend whom she hated. Lucky wizard.

I decided to start at Janessa's- I mean _Jessica's_-house. She answered the door.

"Bella?" she said.

"Yeah hey. Can I come in?" I asked getting straight to the point. I was feeling kinda self-conscious in an Aeropostale dress. I NEVER wore dresses.

"Uhh, I have a guest over," Jessica replied uncomfortably.

"Who is it Jess?" a voice asked.

Two months ago, I would've melted by the sound of his velvety sugarcoated voice. But now, I just wanted to puke. I no longer loved Edward the way I used to.

"Hey Edward!" I cried. "How's it been?"

"Good." Was his curt reply. Okay so I didn't blame him for being mad at me. After all, I did leave him like a real beetch.

"Are you guys dating?" I prodded.

"Can I talk to you Bella?" Edward said looking hard into my eyes. Without a word, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the kitchen.

"Ow! Dammit Edward! I cannot walk in these heels!" I screeched in surprise.

"Listen Bella, would you drop this?" Edward hissed.

Huh? I thought.

"This act. You want me back don't you," Edward said smugly. "I knew it! I knew you'd dump that dude one day!" He instantly turned serious and took my face in his hands. "I love you too Bella. I just dated Jess to get you jealous." His breath fanned across my face.

I focused on not losing my sanity. Aw hell, was he gonna kiss me? I forced my lips to move.

"I love you too and I want you more than that dude," I choked. Hermione owed me…_BIG TIME_.

Edward smiled. "I don't really love Jess. I just want her blood. Once I have it, we'll be back together."

I jolted in surprise. This wasn't like Edward to go and just kill an innocent human for blood. Sure I hated him and all that but still, I know Edward.

"You can't just kill her!" I accused more loudly than I should've.

"I won't just have a sip of her blood when she's unconscious and wipe her memory. Vamps can do that you know," Edward reminded me. "So what do you say? Do you still wanna get together?"

Ooo lucky me. I hadn't even said 10 sentences and Edward had already claimed me again. At least Hermione would be happy. -.-

I nodded.

He released me and grinned like the dork he is. "The end of the week," he promised, then he loped away.

Jessica literally rushed me out of the house and I found myself back at Firas's place way too soon.

"SOOOOOO? HOOOW WAAASSS IIT???" Hermione demanded the second I stuck my head inside.

I had a big breath stored in my diaphragm. I was planning on releasing it when I came in but I guess that breath would have to be used to answer perky Hermione.

"FIIIINNNNEEE. I said less than ten sentences and Edward is MIIIIINNNNEEE," I perked right back.

"Great job Bella!" Hermione grinned.

"This better bring Harry down," I grunted.

Hermione muttered something and walked away.

Aw great, I'd hit a nerve. But well hell, I did my 'mission'. Edward was mine. What came after that? Oh yeah, debriefing him on Harry and Tom and the rest of the tangled web my life had become.


End file.
